Friday, January 7, 2011

Same Siders

You've all seen them, maybe you know some personally, heck maybe you one of them! I sure hope not. You head out to a restaurant, it could be Applebees, it could be a high end steak house. You sit down to enjoy a meal and blamo, two people sitting on the same side of the table, with outlook not so good for others to join them. SAME SIDERS. Best case scenario they're far far away, facing the other way and it's someone else's problem for the most part, but still annoying. Worst case, they're sitting at the table directly in front of you!

If you happen to notice that you're about to be seated across from one of these travesties of restaurant etiquette, you could steer the hostess towards another table. Whew, dodged a bullet there. However, the worst is when you're seated, enjoying the ambiance and BAM, they're seated in front of you with no way out! Now you feel like you're on stage and guess what, you're the host, guest and solo star of the show! Lucky you, didn't get the memo? Bummer...

There are a few reasons why someone might do that, most completely and utterly idoitic and just plain wrong in their own special way. But I will include also include one valid, fully acceptable reason!

1) They're co-dependent and can't keep their hands off each other. Let's call that the Schmoopy Syndrome, a reference to the classic Soup Nazi Seinfeld episode. You're Schmoopy, no you're Schmoopy. When Jerry is faced with the difficult task of choosing between schmoopy and a cup of soup, the soup wins.

2) Sharing a meal. Do you share a meal at home? I agree that some places do supersize their meals and prices, but chances are you know that going in. Take the rest home, meals for a week! Or if you must, share away, tip better than you normally would for shortchanging the wait staff, but sit on opposite sides of the table!

3) Drum roll.......Perfectly acceptable, we've done it before, would do it again...Watching a sporting event at a sports bar facing a large screen TV! If you're going to a venue to watch a specific event and that's what the place is there for, by all means same side it. If they happen to have multiple screens on each side of the table showing the same game, you can call an audible and same side it, opposite side it or switch it up mid game.

4) One scenario we ran into over the weekend was an older couple that appeared hard of hearing.  That makes complete sense.  Even with hearing aids, restaurants have tons of ambient noise, making it almost impossible for the hearing impaired to have a normal conversation. 

What is your opinion on same siders?  Agree or disagree?


Mock family said...

Thats hilarious!! Blog was funny ESP the acceptable reason and the update is priceless! Haha go figure :)

Mark said...

That is so funny, I am not a big fan of same-siders myself. Glad to see it's not just me!

Anonymous said...

Hi dude. I found your post after a quick search engine discovery process that I felt necessary after discovering that there are actually people in the world who have a problem with this. Did you also work in the restaurant industry? This is seems to be a common complaint for the restaurant industry.

My wife and I are same-siders, and we have always been in the seven years we've been together. Since neither my wife, nor I are suffering any pathological illnesses, my we are not codependent, and I'm failing to understand how this relates to schmoopy syndrome, or same-side syndrome for that matter.

We never share meals, aside from dessert, and I don't see why this would bother you, unless you've been in the restaurant industry. With my wife being a vegetarian, eating out is my chance to appease my omnivorous genes.

When we're out practicing our routine same-siding, we rarely touch each other, if not for one little peck on the mouth, because we realize PDA is disrespectful, especially in such close quarters in restaurants. No, we're not playing any footsie or pocket pool under the table. If statistics are to be considered, after seven years, most couples are getting the itch and likely touch very little, so maybe we're lucky to even have any intimacy in privacy, let alone in a restaurant.

We're just not falling into your mold for what constitutes the same-siding archetype, are we? Actually, the mere single reason I obliged my wife when she first appealed to me to same-side with her was because it seems silly to leave an empty seat next to my wife an unfamiliar environment.

While your post was slightly amusing at times, the personal photos could be considered distasteful or inflammatory, not to mention you could be held legally liable for the publishing of a person's likeness to portray them in a negative light and/or for your own personal gain. Might wanna just take those off before some nice old lady finds it and decides to call up the ambulance chasers.

Anonymous said...

No I wasn't in the restaurant industry, but I did have friends that were and heard their stories often. I believe that is how I became aware of it in the first place.

And no, you guys aren't really falling within one of the above categories, but if it's working for you and you're happy, keep on keeping on!

The only picture I took was the last one, it has been removed. The others are stock photos.

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